The only reason I went to their home was just to do our laundry. Phyllis would talk about someone’s daughter and that she lived close by and was single, or she would bad mouth me to anyone that was willing to hear gossip. I didn’t like visiting with his parents because they always went out of their way to make sure I was uncomfortable. During our stay with them his mom, “Phyllis” would always say loud enough for me to hear that their son “Shawn” had made a huge mistake and that when ever he wanted to leave me, they would pay for the divorce. After we were married we had stayed with his parents for a couple of months. They made their disapproval known at the very beginning of our relationship. I didn’t get along with my ex-husband’s parents. Have your own family outings, share your own pictures on social media (if that’s your thing as well), and don’t waste your time or energy on people so tragically petty and obviously dysfunctional. You can’t make people like you so I find it’s better just to leave them alone.
What are the sister’s relationship like with your husband? What is your husband’s relationship like with his father? Are you being used as the scapegoat for their indifference? Even if you did attend one of their functions you would probably feel uncomfortable with their standoffish attitudes while their judgmental eyes kept glancing in your direction. And maybe you’re not invited to their family get together’s because either their embarrassed by their behavior, or it makes them feel superior not to invite you. Have you dealt with rejection by your in-laws? Was the issue ever resolved, or did you and your spouse learn to live without their blessing? Share your story below. Stay focused on your own marriage, and you can find happiness and lifelong love together. Most importantly, remember that this problem is more about them than it is about you.
Unpredictable moments in life can be milestones. Sometimes, in-laws come around when grandchildren are born. Over time, it’s possible that things may change. Grieving is essential to moving on with your life. They may not be your blood relatives, but you probably expected to have, at the very least, an amicable relationship with your in-laws. Exude a sense of space, openness, and hospitality, but don’t focus, strive, or waste your time on something that probably isn’t going to happen.įinally, grieve the loss of that relationship and move on. But don’t live in such a way that you’re actively trying to get them involved. Be willing to include them if they want to be included. It’s okay if you want to keep space in your life open for your in-laws. There’s no magic formula to win their approval, so don’t try to find it. You can find peace and contentment in your marriage despite their attitude. Instead, strive to separate yourself from them with a “this is me, that’s them” attitude you have your own life to live, and your own family to create with your spouse.Įven though it hurts right now, go on without their blessing. You can’t keep trying to change or perform in a way that gets your in-laws’ blessing. You might spin in circles and worry yourself silly, trying to figure out what you might have done wrong. And when that happens, it’s hard to not feel like it’s somehow your fault. Not only is it hurtful to you that your spouse’s parents (or other relatives) have made it clear that they don’t approve of (or even like) you it’s also devastating because it creates distance between your spouse and their family.Įveryone is human and fallible, and unfortunately, for whatever reason, your in-laws aren’t able to reach out to you.
In today’s video, we’re discussing how to respond when your in-laws have rejected you. You feel rejected and “not good enough.” And when your in-laws are the people who have rejected you, the pain can feel almost unbearable.
When someone withholds their blessing from you, that hurts. What can I do if my in-laws don’t accept me?